Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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