so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
