So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
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