Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
