How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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