I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
