And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
