I got chris browned last night
So drunk its hurt
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
