you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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