You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
