shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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