She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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