I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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