third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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