how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
