I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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