Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
