At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
