His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
