Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
