The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize