did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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