I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
