Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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