Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
