Sry I called you an 8
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize