worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I want to fling myself into the sun
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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