Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think a kid would responsible me up
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome