shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
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his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
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I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7