i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
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but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
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She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.