I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
