I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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