oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
