Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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