i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
