Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
