I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
