Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
