now i know why i became what i already was.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
