I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
