I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
