I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
