I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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