I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
