I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
