I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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