The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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