YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
