clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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