I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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