Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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