garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
