seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.