What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
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He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
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Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?