Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.