My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
about cumming, not toast
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.