I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.