we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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