She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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