I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
