he shaved USA in his pubs
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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