apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
